I will say, dating in this day and age can be quite overwhelming. Social media makes things egregiously difficult with couple accounts and dating stories taking up a large chunk of the social media algorithm-sphere. On top of the new age standards for dating, carving out time for your loved one becomes increasingly difficult with a busy schedule–assuming you’ve already passed the Bermuda Triangle that is the dreaded situationship phase. On top of all of this, you have to hope by some pre-ordained phenomenon that this person is “your one,” because that’s what the movies tell you.
And actually, that seems to bleed into what I wanted to discuss in this blog post–the concept of “the one”--or in this case, the soulmate. That is, what is this idea that there is one singular person in this universe that we are predestined to meet, and why do we praise this idea instead of abhor it?
I know, I tend to take a different approach to the soulmate theory than others do. I take a more pessimistic view to this, because in all honesty there is nothing sacred to me about the idea that there is only one person that I can be truly happy with. To put it in the words of Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a California-based psychologist, it seems to be a never-ending quest of constantly searching for one person that you are never guaranteed to meet. If we're being honest, tangentially, it feels like we a ghost tether tied to the ankles. If we accept the soulmate theory, what happens to our perception of free will? Is there nothing that we can do in this instance that won't be a consequence of our lack of free will? The idea that we cannot be at our most happy unless we are to be in romantic involvement with this pre-destined person, whoever they are?
Similarly, will we ever know who they are for certain? There are so many people in this world that are capable of making you feel complex emotions, and none of them come with a glaring flashing sign that indicates whether they are your soulmate or not. At the end of the day, whoever you are with, it is nothing more than a guess that the person you choose will end up being the one for you.
Operating under the pretense that soulmates exists, there are also implications for the fact that there will inherently be some people who are not able to meet their soulmate due to outside factors. There may be a variety of factors--death, bad timing, rash decisions that all may lead to a missed opportunity. The soulmate theory would indicate that the lover is incapable of achieving true love, and that is what I believe to be the most pessimistic part of the soulmate theory--that it centers itself among the idea that life is only worth living once you have found your other half, as if your own person is not enough.
References
Gutterman, A. (2018, November 2). Looking for your soulmate? Here’s what to do instead. Time. https://time.com/5425170/stop-trying-to-find-soulmate/
This is a really well written piece, amazing job! I don't really believe in the idea of having just one soulmate either. I believe that the idea of a single soulmate seems more like a concept popularized by marketing, such as diamond ring advertisements, rather than a reality of life. But, I truly believe that everyone who enters our lives, friends or romantic partners, serves a purpose. It's not about finding a single perfect person, but connecting with individuals who suit us at different stages of our lives. Also, people evolve over time, influenced by their experiences. Consequently, our needs and desires in relationships also change. Therefore, the notion of a fixed soulmate doesn't quite align with the dynamic natur…
First of all, I absolutely love your style of writing here. Your words feel raw and personal. This is such an interesting topic that I've often wondered a lot about. As a college student, I feel everyone is so wrapped up in finding their perfect match. Does such a thing exist? If so, can there only be one? These questions have stumped me, and have left me feeling unsatisfied at times in regards to the intimate relationships I've had in the past. I like how your writing encourages people to find satisfaction in themselves. Unlike in the movies, we DON'T always need to have that special someone in our lives to thrive.
I've been thinking a lot about this whole soulmate concept too. It seems like so much pressure to find that one perfect person, especially when life's already complicated with things like social media and our busy schedules. I'm with you on the skepticism about there being just one person for everyone. It feels a bit unrealistic, doesn't it? There are so many people out there who can make us happy in different ways. And what if we never meet this so-called soulmate? Are we just supposed to accept less happiness? To me, it makes more sense to focus on building strong, meaningful connections, regardless of whether they fit the soulmate mold. The idea of a soulmate is romantic, sure, but…
I don't think that soulmates necessarily exist, but I do think that people in your life, whether platonic or romantic, are in your life for a purpose -- regardless of how long they are in it for. Any relationship comes with its lessons, and I'd view it almost as if there are different teachers coming into your life to shape your perception of the world. Rather than a soulmate that's supposed to be there eternally, I'd argue that there are different people that will be your "soulmates" at different times in your life. People are constantly changing, and although some people can grow with you, it is also completely possible and okay for someone to be your "soulmate" at a…
Personally, I do not believe in soulmates. I believe that obviously some people are more compatible than others, but I think there is a bunch of people out there for everyone that they could form a strong, loving relationship with. This concept of soulmates instills a false hope that if you find your 'person,' the relationship will be smooth sailing. I think that any relationship requires hard work and occasional conflict is inevitable. I do, however, remain optimistic about love, but understand your point of view that waiting for this one perfect soulmate can be detrimental to you personally.